The last thing you remember feeling before falling was the stinging pain at your side and the fear of losing someone just because you are injured and not fit to fight properly. The last thing you remember seeing after you fell was a clear voice shouting out a curse and a flash of green. The last thing you remember hearing before you blacked out was a bitter voice screaming in denial and the name of your favourite uncle.

Opening your eyes, you see the surrounding darkness. Raising your arm, you wince in pain. You try to find out where you are, but to no avail. Feeling your eyelids getting heavy, you are tempted to give in to sleep. But something makes you fight, your fingertips brush against what you think is hair. ‘Ah, did someone fall next to you?’ you ask yourself. Right at that moment, all the energy you had all drained out of your body and you went back to sleep.

Images flew pass you. One portrayed you and Sirius were playing Exploding Snap while Remus tried to hint that Sirius was cheating. Another showed the time when you were laughing so hard because Remus had told you about the boggart that became Snape in drag. The next one was Christmas which you spent playing wizard chess against Remus, who was told by Sirius that you never lost a game of chess before; wizard or not, and won. The last image reminds you of the last time you saw Sirius. You were arguing that he should stay in Grimmauld Place lest something serious happened. He argued that he should go with you and the rest of the Order to the Department of Mysteries because Harry was there to save him. Before you could stop him, he raced out in his Animagus form. Remus had came into the kitchen to call you out and had found you with your hair fiery red.

The pictures stopped flashing by and you found yourself in the Death Chamber where you fought Bellatrix. You glance around and spotted Harry and Sirius dueling Dolohov. Right then, you hear a crackle on your right and turned to look. There stood Bellatrix, her wand aimed right at your heart. You panic and try to dodge but she was too fast. You were tripping off the steps before you knew it, with your right hip burning with pain. Grabbing thin air for something to hold you steady, you fall. Falling down a flight of long stairs, you hear some of your bones snapping, it’s not the first time you broke your bones. Right before you become unconscious, you hear Bellatrix shouting the Killing Curse and a flash of green blinds you momentarily. You hear Harry calling out to Sirius and shouting, and you started to scream too.

You awake to your own screams and feel a cold hand pushing you back down. Your eyes snap open and Remus Lupin comes into your view. You start to calm down while he wipes away your tears. You realize then that Mad-Eye Moody and Kingsley sitting behind Remus. He tells you that you’re in St. Mungo’s and that Harry is safe. You ask if anyone else was injured and Remus nodded, ticking them off his fingers. You ask him why he did not mention Sirius and the colour drains from his face. He tries to tell you something but Mad-Eye cuts in, saying that it was not the appropiate time to say anything to you yet. With a frown, you glare at him and ask Remus to continue. You regret doing so. If you could go back in time, you would have never asked Remus to continue. But you can’t.

“Nymphadora… Tonks, Sirius… he’s dead. It was Bellatrix.”

Suddenly everything comes flooding back. After you fell, Bellatrix went for Sirius and killed him off. And Harry was shouting. And you were enveloped in darkness. Mad-Eye pulled Remus away by the arm, or so he tried. Kingsley stood up and asked Mad-Eye to leave Remus alone. Remus released his arm from Mad-Eye’s grip and held you by the shoulders. You remember nothing after that.

And every night after that, every time you fall asleep, the same nightmare comes back to haunt you. You wake up screaming and covered in sweat. Every single detail of your nightmare remained burnt in your memory. And you sai alone on your bed crying silently to yourself. It was as if you are trapped in your nightmare. It was as if you fell into your nightmare once again.